What I didn’t expect, but needed
My phrase for 2019 was: GO + GROW
and wow, did I do that...
At every turn, 2019 brought me opportunities to push my comfort zones and heal lingering pain/resentment/blocks that were keeping me stuck.
What surprised me most, was that my prayers were consistently answered not in ways I expected... or necessarily wanted.
But in ways I needed.
Nearly every time, the answer was "hidden in plain sight."
(a phrase I felt Mother Mary kept whispering to me)
With no surprise, the best part of everyday remained my morning quiet time and being in nature. As well as, days I got to teach a class or workshop.
My greatest adventure was most certainly travelling to Italy solo - my first international flight, ever!
From my failures and wins, I learnt that what I think I want, isn't always "it". Wisdom invites me to pray for the fulfillment of my desires in ways that are truly soul satisfying - and for my Highest Good. Then release how it comes to me.
From what energized and drained me, I learnt I must give my energy and focus to what, where and whom nourishes and nurtures me in return - a two way exchange. ('cause I'd been operating mostly on one-way streets)
From my joys and heartaches, I learnt my expectations overshadow my reality. I must remain Present and unattached, rather than analyzing in real-time, to witness the moments' unfolding. Processing and reflection can wait until later.
From the gift of service and goodwill, I learnt the things we think or recognize immediately, aren't always the most impactful. On the contrary, what leaves the biggest impression or benefits the highest good, may just be the thing/part/aspect we didn't like, labelled "bad" or resisted stubbornly.
On this side of the New Year, I place my deep hope for 2020 in Divine Hands:
Living and Leading from the heart, my mind in service to it
Unlock my "Hawaii" state of being, in everyday
To feel the beauty of my life, not just see it with my eyes
Move beyond my pain/past helping others, into greater collective service
Seek to understand how others experience me, more than how they affect me
Accept conflict and tension as a natural part of any process; not to be avoided or feared
If you haven't already, make time to deeply evaluate the healing work you've been present to in the last decade from a graduation look.
Accept what has been, bless the growth you've been gifted and release what no longer serves you.