When being Human feels Hard

It is far too easy to put ourselves last. 

Many of us have even accepted this as a belief of our own — insisting it is our duty to put everyone else above ourselves — and that THAT is what makes us good and righteous people.

We live in a culture that pra(e)ys upon us doing that too — especially as “modern” women… 

 I think it’s time we trash that notion and be brave enough to believe we matter. 

That our needs deserve a seat at the table, maybe even, if we’re bold enough, first priority on the to-do list. 

Because being human is not easy 

… it’s not easy to stay open after the pain. 

… it’s not easy to trust after the heartbreak. 

… it’s not easy to believe after the loss. 

… it’s not easy to remain in the body after trauma.

… it’s not easy to stay grounded through the fear.

…. it’s not easy to stay sane through the chaos.

Not because we’re doing it wrong or because there is something wrong with us

It just is. 

The sooner we can accept this fact — and give ourselves permission to actually FEEL that — the more compassion we will experience in the midst of it.

Suffering is suffering is suffering. 

No one persons suffering trumps another, despite what others tells us. 

Our pain may look different— mine could be physical while yours is emotional or yours could be spiritual while mine is mental— but the truth remains: 

suffering in every form is valid and real to the individual experiencing it.

To the degree we are able to acknowledge our personal pain and love ourselves through it, is the degree of love we will be able to offer the collective. 

So if we really want to transform this world, we must be willing to first sit with our pain and suffering. 

For years my life was dominated by anxiety, guilt, fear, shame, depression and addictive coping behaviours. 

While on the outside I looked capable and high functioning, the truth is, I was living in survival mode. 

The internal pressure oscillated between overwhelming and paralyzing, to the point where some days, it took everything out of me to just get up and do the basics of being human - shower, eat, speak and sleep.

I won’t lie or pretend I never experience this anymore — because I do— but no one, included myself, should have to live like this day in and day out. 

And many do. 

We feel victim to life and the circumstances that surrounds us. 

Especially in times like these... 

But what we fail to realize in the thick of it, is that we actually have the power to change it! 

Within us lies the medicine and the connection required to transmute and transform any and all darkness. 

I know that sounds like a bold statement but I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t believe it. 

And I do. 

Rather than distracting ourselves or picking sides on who’s suffering is more important, let’s remember that life - and the “other” — are actually a mirror. 

So what is it we are being asked to face today, within? 

That’s the medicine.

I have witnessed the transformative power of bringing awareness and love to the shadows, in order to liberate the one who lives within it - And reclaim her fullness! 

My life has changed as a result of this deep inner work. 

• More ease in my own skin 

• More kindness for the parts of myself I struggle with 

• More acceptance of the full spectrum of my personality 

• More courage to move beyond what I’ve known and step into a fuller expression of my Self. 

I don’t just tolerate myself anymore. I don’t just love myself either. 

I actually LIKE the woman I AM.

I have found a deep well of compassion within for the soul who chose this body and this mind, in this spot of this world, for this moment in history… 

And that has been no easy feat. 

As I’ve sobbed to God in pity, far too many times to count— being me can feel so hard!

That may sound silly or naive but it’s MUCH easier to settle for status quo, than do the dirty working of living free. 

Doing-The-Work takes grit, guts and time. 

So if you’re not in it for the long haul, I’d dare to say, don’t bother. 

At least don’t bother with me. 

That might sound blunt, but I’m here to serve your highest good, not just your temporary comfort. 

I want to see you liberated and radiant, walking this earth in harmony and with inner peace, doing what you came here to do. 

I bet you want the same, otherwise you wouldn’t still be here reading this letter. 

There will always be a reason to delay inner work and avoid what makes us uncomfortable; stay stuck in our heads and current circumstance.  

We can focus on someone else

We can blame the other

We can deny anything’s wrong

We can numb out through temporary pleasure

But in the quiet of our heart and the dead of night, Truth Speaks loud. 

What if today, we chose to no longer escape it — and leaned in to what may initially feel scary but we know, is ultimately for our Highest Good.

Along with scars, the Hard always leaves a gift: 

New Life

New Hope 

New Love 

Far beyond anything we’ve yet to experience. 

So in the midst of whatever you’re currently facing — the brilliance and the brokenness — know today that I see you. 

I feel you. 

And I love you. 

I’m here to help.